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Wednesday, June 30, 2010

MISTER MISUNDERSTOOD (TALKING TO MYSELF) [blog]

I am ready and willing to live with all the criticism, from anyone, it don't bother me. It just proves I am heading towards the right path. I know people are not USED to it, we're not encouraged to Speak UP and Speak Out. We're Indoctrinated to Accept the Status Quo... but how can I live with the Status Quo when i see so much Bullshit all around me?! As positive as I can be, I still am a Realistic brotha, I still see people dying, mother's crying, and so much suffering around the world... I can't pretend it doesn't exist cuz it's not happening right in front of my face... it happens across the world and right in my own city.

War in Iraq... does anybody know what they fighting for?! Oil spills... Corrupt politicians, greedy corporations.... Increase in Gas Prices... An increase in number of natural disasters, volcano's erupting, and these ain't signs... Signs from God and/or signs from Planet Earth that we killing it?! When we get sick, we show symptoms, we cough, we have a fever, we have a runny nose... the world is a living organism, nobody sees it this way, but I do. I know it breathes. Does it have a soul?! That's a question I cannot answer I don't have the knowledge yet. But God knows.

There's an psychological warfare going on, amidst the on-going battle between good and evil... A war to imprison our mind... To have us think along specific lines within a pre-determined BOX, not question anything, just be slaves and subordinates of a clandestine society's agenda. Matrix, baby, Matrix, the System. People will fight to protect cuz they've become so reliant upon it, but if ONLY they KNEW BETTER. They're fighting to protect something that's killing them.

Call me crazy, call me nuts, fuck it just throw the entire encyclopedia of insults at me.... I'm USED TO IT. I seen what they did to Brothers and Sisters like Mother Teresa, Gandhi, Michael Jackson, Tupac Shakur, Malcolm X, MLK, Princess Diana, and so many others. By this century, we should be way further than we are, I believe in PROGRESS, I believe in Civilized Behavior, I believe that I must begin change within myself first before I can even THINK of affecting change throughout the world. And so it rages on, the battle within me, the fight to overcome temptations and inner demons. I ain't PERFECT, I'm no better nor worse than anybody out there.... but I try to be as much as possible, to be consciously aware of my actions and behavior. Have I sinned? YES. Does it make me a horrible person? Only if I don't feel bad about sinning. I am my own worst enemy, that's the truth... cuz I beat myself up, and have to battle an ego that wants to take over my conscience. That's my inner fight, my own personal struggle.... day in and day out.....

Sometimes I feel like such a fucking hypocrite.... I speak of righteousness, yet I am still committing sins.... I know I'll pay for those sins one day, and I'm praying for God's mercy on that day cuz I know I've wronged myself and my soul. I know God is oft-forgiving, but I shouldn't rely on that or take advantage of that. I know each day, should be a preparation for my Judgment on the Day of Atonement. See, I don't think most people think this way... or are concerned with such thoughts... I don't judge them, that's their prerogative, that's the life they're choosing to live... so why do people JUDGE ME when I am awake and striving to em-better myself and the world around me? Why did God give me a mouth for? To eat? To feed myself?! Or to use to build bridges of communication, by talking, by voicing my concerns about the world? I can't pretend like I don't care, cuz I do... I do.... I do but sometimes maybe I care too damn much for my own good.

If I'm Wrong, I pray God corrects me. I can't help being me, and who I am, I can't help Being Vocal and Speaking the Truth, why live in FEAR?! What Good does that do?! NOTHING. If I die from a bullet, from natural causes, from heart failure, I'm ready for it... I don't wanna die, I wanna live so I can do something to help this world, however whichever any which way I can. I pray to God so He can send me the righteous brothers & sisters to help me help us help the world. Can we truly cause change? Well.... only if we truly firmly believe in ourselves and in our capabilities, then yes, why not?! If we're ready to fight for it, strive for it righteously, why not?!

Still.... All through my life, I've felt so misunderstoooooood, like I'm always talking to myself. But hey.... God made me this way, so I can only embrace the design and improve on it, somehow some way, I believe there will be a better way.... till then, within my soul I pray each minute of each day.

MAXIMUM BLESSINGZ


Eminem Talking 2 Myself feat. Kobe: